Warning: this one is for the ladies and will get quite graphic. But gents, if you wish to gain some insight into what we females have to go through while you're busy peeing on car tires, please feel free to read on...
Having your period in Africa is unpleasant. More than unpleasant. It's the most horrible thing in the world short of having your period while having diarrhea in Africa. Basically, you have to have six arms like the Hindu God Shiva in order to keep things from getting completely disgusting. Just imagine: you're stopped on the side of the road using a "bush" toilet (no pun intended) with the following things going on:
1. Peeing. You're squatting next to a rock or tree, trying not to let lone Masai warriors/shepherds see your shockingly white backside (or frontside). Unless you have the thigh muscles of an Olympic speed skater, you need at least one hand for support to keep you from urinating on your foot. You often fail.
2. Ridding yourself of a used tampon. Ok. One hand is already engaged for support, but now you have a bloody tampon to dispose of. Plus, you must keep from getting any on your clothes or feet. Again, you often fail.
3. Opening a new tampon. They're wrapped in plastic and you've no more hands left. Your teeth will suffice.
4. Wiping. I'm not even going to go there.
5. Pulling up pants. Your hands are disgusting, but you can't leave your khakis around your ankles. Screw it. They're filthy already anyway.
6. Burying the evidence. Use a stick.
7. Pretend like it was a piece of cake. Let no one know of the trauma you've just endured.
8. Do it all over again in about 150 kilometers.
Now, just imagine if you have to go number 2. It ain't easy being a lady on the road.
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