Did you call me?

No, I didn't miss your call. I just have no idea who you are or what you said. I believe you were Scottish. But after saying, "What?" about five times, I finally just had to pretend to understand. I apologize for the deception, but I was honestly baffled and embarrassed by my lack of comprehension. I hope it wasn't anything important. And if it was, could you please put it in writing? Thanks. Eleven.